I don’t like most songs that are on the radio. Well, let me clarify. I don’t like the songs on the radio that are dance-centric, the songs that encourage people to dance. Huh. Dancing. Dancing is terrible. Moving your body around in tune with music. It’s so…. simple-minded. It’s so primitive. So what, in a song when they sing “Put your hands in the air”, you expect me to just do that? Please, I’m not a dog. I have some self respect. We cats have evolved past dancing. Do you know how ridiculous you look when you dance?
Unfortunately, in my life I am often forced to dance. She Human will sometimes pick me up and swing around with me. She grabs one of my paws and moves around in circles with me. It’s terrible. And I try my best to make it very clear how much I dislike it. I look away, I try to jump down, I growl. She doesn’t seem to care. Does she think I enjoy dancing? As if I ever wanted to dance.
The Humans put their music on really loudly and force me to listen to terrible songs that are supposedly popular. I don’t buy it. Most of the artists the Humans listen to is just terrible. Except Shakira. Now, let me just say that if we could all only move like Shakira, I might like this dancing business. She may be the only Human who looks good when she dances. And make no mistake about it, I could absolutely dance like Shakira if I wanted to. I could make my hips move as if independent of my body. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to embarrass the Other One with my superior dancing skills. It would only make him more jealous of me and all I can do that he can’t. I’m just that considerate.