Summer Stinks

Well summer is here. This is truly my least favorite time of the year. The days are long and hot, I have to lie around the house all day and sleep, too many sunshine spots to avoid…. it’s so different from the other times of the year. The Other One keeps saying my life is exactly the same in the summertime, but he’s an idiot. Summertime is truly terrible.

The thing I’ve realized I despise most about summer is the fact that the Humans always have people over. These strangers come knocking on the door, they all hug and say hello, then they go outside to eat or play games. Why?? What is so wrong with just the people who live here hanging out? Why do we need to include other people? What is so terrible about just having us here?

Here’s my beef with guests over: they smell very strange. Anything or anyone new always smells strange. Like when the Humans go buy groceries, and then they bring it into the kitchen and it stinks. Or She Human will go buy new shoes, and she’ll put them on and they stink. The Other One and I talk about it all the time. I mean, I know we Felines are superior to Humans in every way (particularly when it comes to our sense of smell), but do the Humans really not get how stinky other people and new things are? I’d like them to trade noses with us just for a day and see if they ever invite people over.

The worst are the dog people. I can smell their Canine on them the minute they walk through the door– it’s atrocious. One time, the Humans invited one of these people over– and they brought their dog into the house. The nerve! As if I couldn’t smell that beast from a mile away! I bolted to the basement and stayed there for the rest of the day, just to make my point clear that those creatures are not accepted in my house.

But I digress. As long as the Humans don’t invite anyone over this summer, I expect it could be mildly pleasant. If not, I’ll just find an especially secretive spot to sleep in when they bring the uninvited-s over.

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