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It’s been a minute, pun intended. The Humans have been around a lot lately. She Human was home for… ugh, quite frankly I don’t have the time to learn the rudimentary ways in which Humans measure time. Suffice it to say it was a long time.

Then they had all these terrible other Humans over one night, they were loud and wearing ridiculously binding clothing and stupid hats. Around Turn of the Day they all started clapping and shouting and telling each other, “Happy new year”, whatever that means. Idiots.

I’m taking this all to mean that we have started a new year. The Humans have the strangest ways of measuring time. Does it really matter people? I mean really, what’s more important than lying around the house all day, sleeping, grooming, and eating? Do we really need to measure that? You’re all fools, if you ask me. Although there do seem to be days where the Humans are gone a lot, and talking about “work” and how stressful their day was. Don’t they understand? Just don’t go, and then you can lay around here all day with us. But not for too long, because I don’t want them to overstay their welcome here. It is nice when they’re gone and we finally have the run of the roost to ourselves.

I guess this should be my new year’s “resolution”, as they say. Convince the Humans to stay here during the day. But, you know, not for too long– just the perfect amount of time. Which I will figure out how to measure in the near future, after my mid evening nap.

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