Wednesday Wisdom from Señor Gato. Today’s wisdom: A spider a day keeps the Humans happy. Seriously. They love it when I eat the spiders that find their way into the house. The Other One has yet to pick up on this, which gives me a strong advantage. Anytime one of those sneaky, delicious creatures comes wandering in, I find a way to make a point of how I’m ridding the house of the pests. I find them, I play with them, and then I consume them. It’s a great party trick.
Just this morning, The Other One found a spider on the windowsill. He was playing with it a bit, not really understanding that the whole point is to show the Humans that you’re doing them a favor. Being the savvy cat I am, I waited patiently under the window on solid ground. The moment The Other One dropped the spider to the floor, I pounced on it, gently placed it in my mouth, and brought it over to the Humans as they were eating breakfast. I dropped it on the table in front of their food. Once they realized I had a spider in my mouth and was earning my keep, I ate it ceremoniously in front of them. They applauded me; they sang my praises; I even got a few treats. It makes them feel like I’m doing my part for the household.
And it’s not just spiders. The Humans are appreciative of any small creatures I manage to kill: beetles, flies, bees. Well I tried to catch a bee one time, but those crazy things have stingers. And wings. What an evolutionary advantage. My personal favorite however remains the spiders. Catching something that has twice as many legs as me and can spin a web overnight is quite the badge of honor in my opinion. And there’s always the risk that it’s poisonous, but that would guarantee that I live on far past my physical life on this planet. “Here lies Señor Gato. He kept us safe, even at his great peril.” Come one, what an epitaph. Plus that would be a great way to snuff it.
The Other One seriously needs to acquire a valuable skill in order to prove he is worthy of staying here as well. Maybe his Wednesday Wisdom is “Acquire A Skill”. I’ll give him the memo.